I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
