why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
