they need to just BURY HIM!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
