Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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