my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
