Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize