So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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