i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
His hands were made for my vagina.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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