You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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