you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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