I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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