is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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