So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
