new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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