I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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