We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
