My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
