i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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