is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
