3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize