I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
