apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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