we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
