You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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