I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
