i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
