I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
