babies were throwing up all over the place
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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