WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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