It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
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I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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