You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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