He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
