Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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