OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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