wat bout pragnant strippers??
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
