I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
