listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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