so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
