He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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