I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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