i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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