ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
