Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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