Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
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Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
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He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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