come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
