After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
