Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
