I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
