I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
