I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
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Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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