Only a mothe r could love this liver
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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