I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
