my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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