i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
