i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
