where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
