I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
