jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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