Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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