Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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