"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
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