Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
