Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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