Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
