very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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