can u get pink eye on your cock?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
