well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
