forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
