I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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