My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
