Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
