I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
