My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
