They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
